Who are you?

You're so bright, so beautiful,
I long for you to tell me everything is alright
But the battle isn't over yet
I look at you and see a stranger
I have known you for so long
No one knows you better
But who are you now?
You rebel against the norms
Fighting, challenging them,
For what?
To be someone whose eyes I can't meet?
I try to adapt, because I so desperately want you near
The changes that have come made you so different
I know you well enough to know that I don't know you anymore.
My hand caresses your skin, so pale, so thin, so cold
I don't know this touch
Your eyes are hard and empty.
You take me on this rollercoaster ride of emotions
and I fight to hold on
You know I never liked amusement parks
Every time I look at you, I wonder if it will be my last
I want it to be the last.
I want to go back to the way we were,
The relationship we had
When you were predictable
When we had an understanding
When we took care of each other
When I wasn't afraid of you.
I want to go back to the time when I loved my body... instead of being afraid of it.