Excitement and Fear...

Finally.

Over a month after I was discharged from the hospital... progress.

I start my first taper, off (hopefully), prednisone.

I say that... but technically I've tapered twice.  I went from IV to oral, which is a taper, and then back on IV and then back on oral, another taper.

It doesn't really count though, especially since the second oral dose was higher than the first oral dose.

This is real though. It counts.  It's also a big drop which is kind of scary.  We're going from 120mg/day to 100mg/day.   Still a really high dose.

I'm excited.  It feels like progress.  My liver enzymes FINALLY are below 200 (They are still 2-3x higher than normal, but under 200 means I should be safe to drop down).

With all that excitement comes a ton of fear...

Any time I taper I risk a flare up.
Any time I taper I risk ending up back in the hospital.

PLUS all the crap that comes with tapering off prednisone... I'm hoping that it's still a high enough dose that my body doesn't notice THAT much.  Everyone I've talked to has told me how it's hell weaning off prednisone.

I am supposed to reduce my stress in general, but especially over the next few days... which funnily enough are my busiest most stressful days.  Urg.

I just need my liver enzymes to stay down, I need my rash to not flare up... I need something to go RIGHT for once since this happened.

Oh yeah, because I also probably have Cushing Syndrome... since MS, DRESS Syndrome and Steroid Induced Diabetes is not enough.   I see the Internal Med doctor in 2 weeks and will find out for sure.  

The hope that this brings... makes me happy.  I needed it.  Even if it all goes to hell, the hope I have right now keeps me going.