Why did it take me this long?

My undergrad university experience was definitely a learning experience... and an inner battle.

I entered into the Bachelor of Science program with a focus on Life Sciences Biology.  I struggled all of first year, I didn't like it, but I didn't want to "give up" and switch to something else... I wouldn't even know what to switch to.  In second year I took more of a variety of courses. I really liked neuroscience.  I wasn't AMAZING at it, but I was good at it and I found it interesting.  Bogged down with other courses I didn't understand (Chemistry for example- thanks dyscalculia for making it even harder), I took solace in my "Arts electives".  Diversity and Social Justice Studies classes where I could explore the discrimination, prejudices, oppression that are structurally built into society.  A couple of History courses that allowed me to better understand where we are today and then I made the decision to move over to Psychology.  They still had neuroscience, it was still a science degree, I really wasn't changing much I told myself.

After my first semester of third year I realized something that took a lot of inner battling for me to admit.

I didn't want to go into neuroscience.

I liked neuroscience, but I wasn't great at it, and the love I thought I had for it, I was forcing.

I felt like I was failing, by not following through with my original plans.  It was hard for me to accept.

There was a love that had always been there... and I mean always.  Since I was a child.  In college I kept it very separate from my academic life, and I started out university the same way.

I honestly have no idea why.  It's my true love, my passion, and the realization that the happiest I could ever be would be spending my life pursuing research in this field is what motivated me to acknowledge that I wasn't "failing" by changing my academic and future career focus... I was actually finally where I belonged.

When I told my mom I was changing from neuropsychology to social psychology, but that I was still going to do research, she asked me what social psychology meant.  I said for me it looking at social justice, discrimination, prejudice and things like that...  She replied "Sounds like what you've been doing your whole life".

I am not a neuroscientist, and I will never be.

I am a social psychologist.

I care about people.  I care about what systems and structures are in place to oppress people. I care about what stereotypes exist and how they elicit discrimination and prejudice.  I care about how people interact with others.  I care about minority rights, I care about LGBTQA rights, accessibility rights. I care about benevolent sexism, slut shaming and rape culture.  I care about the impact of Frosh Week rape chants, Ferguson, lack of reproductive rights, lack of sufficient mental health care, lack of sufficient drug rehabilitation programs.

I care about the Ukrainian people fighting for independence, the 43 teachers' college students who "disappeared" in Mexico, I care about the lack of food security in Canada's north... heck... the lack of food security in MOST countries.  I care about the impact of deforestation and fracking on our nations' people.

I care about all the people who have to fight to try and be on equal footing.

I care about equity.