My undergrad university experience was definitely a learning experience... and an inner battle.
I entered into the Bachelor of Science program with a focus on Life Sciences Biology. I struggled all of first year, I didn't like it, but I didn't want to "give up" and switch to something else... I wouldn't even know what to switch to. In second year I took more of a variety of courses. I really liked neuroscience. I wasn't AMAZING at it, but I was good at it and I found it interesting. Bogged down with other courses I didn't understand (Chemistry for example- thanks dyscalculia for making it even harder), I took solace in my "Arts electives". Diversity and Social Justice Studies classes where I could explore the discrimination, prejudices, oppression that are structurally built into society. A couple of History courses that allowed me to better understand where we are today and then I made the decision to move over to Psychology. They still had neuroscience, it was still a science degree, I really wasn't changing much I told myself.
After my first semester of third year I realized something that took a lot of inner battling for me to admit.
I didn't want to go into neuroscience.
I liked neuroscience, but I wasn't great at it, and the love I thought I had for it, I was forcing.
I felt like I was failing, by not following through with my original plans. It was hard for me to accept.
There was a love that had always been there... and I mean always. Since I was a child. In college I kept it very separate from my academic life, and I started out university the same way.
I honestly have no idea why. It's my true love, my passion, and the realization that the happiest I could ever be would be spending my life pursuing research in this field is what motivated me to acknowledge that I wasn't "failing" by changing my academic and future career focus... I was actually finally where I belonged.
When I told my mom I was changing from neuropsychology to social psychology, but that I was still going to do research, she asked me what social psychology meant. I said for me it looking at social justice, discrimination, prejudice and things like that... She replied "Sounds like what you've been doing your whole life".
I am not a neuroscientist, and I will never be.
I am a social psychologist.
I care about people. I care about what systems and structures are in place to oppress people. I care about what stereotypes exist and how they elicit discrimination and prejudice. I care about how people interact with others. I care about minority rights, I care about LGBTQA rights, accessibility rights. I care about benevolent sexism, slut shaming and rape culture. I care about the impact of Frosh Week rape chants, Ferguson, lack of reproductive rights, lack of sufficient mental health care, lack of sufficient drug rehabilitation programs.
I care about the Ukrainian people fighting for independence, the 43 teachers' college students who "disappeared" in Mexico, I care about the lack of food security in Canada's north... heck... the lack of food security in MOST countries. I care about the impact of deforestation and fracking on our nations' people.
I care about all the people who have to fight to try and be on equal footing.
I care about equity.